You Just Wait
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: When you're joining the Dark Lord because you fear for your life, you'll think about me and you'll think, "Now I know how that boy felt." Maybe you won't feel anything at all for me but at least you'll understand." Draco's thoughts after THBP.


**Title: You Just Wait**

**Summary: When you're joining the Dark Lord because you fear for your life, you'll think about me and you'll think, "Now I know how that boy felt." Maybe you won't feel anything at all for me but at least you'll understand.**

**Author's Note: Another story I wrote when I was on holiday in York and only just got around to typing up now. I hope you enjoy this. It was inspired by the ending scenes in the film where Bellatrix is detroying the Great Hall. It was the look on Draco's face that got me then. This is my take on his feelings after that. Please leave a review and let me know what you think! This is my first attempt at a _Harry Potter _fanfic and I hope I did the books justice because I have and always will love the story. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Harry Potter. _**

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My name is Draco Malfoy. Today I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't even have gotten involved. Not that I had a choice but, you know, you always wish you had the strength just so say no and leave even if that meant dying. You always think you'll be brave enough to die for what's right. Well maybe you should get a grip. It doesn't always work like that. Maybe it would have been better if I'd been able to do the job properly. Now I'm just a coward. I couldn't say no but I couldn't do it either.

When we ran through the Great Hall, I was numb. I watched the Death Eaters tear the place apart and I didn't know what to feel. Hogwarts had been my home for six years now. I know I've said before that I hated it and everything but I grew up here. I had friends. I could have been brilliant. I'm smart. I could have done well in this school. Now I'm just a coward though. I couldn't stay but I didn't want to go either.

I'm afraid the Dark Lord would be disappointed in me. He'd trusted me with a mission and I've failed. It was Snape who'd done it in the end. I don't want to die. Would the Dark Lord kill me because I couldn't kill the mad old headmaster myself? Will he be angry? I didn't want to be classed as a failure like my Father. _Father _will be disappointed in my – I know that much. He'll think I'm a pathetic, good for nothing, failure. The thing is, I'm not a killer. I'm just a coward.

In a way, I wish Potter had killed me with that spell that day in the toilets. I almost wish Snape hadn't been there to save me. I don't want to die but if it had meant I wouldn't have needed to keep struggling on with a challenge I was never going to be able to carry out, then maybe it would have been a good thing. I guess wishing I'd died makes me a coward too, huh? Well sometimes people make mistakes and that includes me even though I'd usually be the last person to admit that. I used to think I was untouchable. I used to think that I was the strongest person in the school. Even people like me have regrets sometimes. There comes a point when you realise you've made a huge mistake but sometimes it's too late to go back because you've gone so far along the road that you can't find your way home. Maybe one day you'll see for yourself. Until then you can't claim you understand, none of you can. I hate myself but there's nothing I can do about it.

I hope you never end up like me. I really hope you don't but the Dark Lord is back and there's nothing any of us can do to stop him, other than Harry Potter that is. Saint bloody Potter. Soon the world is going to be filled with fear and darkness. None of us are going to be safe anymore. When you're joining the Dark Lord because you fear for your life, you'll think about me and you'll think, "Now I know how that boy felt." Maybe you'll feel pity. Maybe you won't feel anything at all for me but at least you'll understand. When you're being given missions you don't want and you have to kill to stay alive, you'll think of me. You'll know how I feel.

You might sneer at me now for joining the Dark Lord but in the end I couldn't kill Dumbledore. Just wait until you how I feel. You won't be so quick to scoff then. Then it'll be me that laughs at you because you thought you could never be like Draco Malfoy, the boy who fell into the Dark Lords trap. You just wait.


End file.
